When a child or a parent you are struggling with does something funny or cute, does that make you mad? It does for me because I want to be angry and distant from that person. Why are you being so cute right now but a mess the rest of the time? It’s because we truly love the ones we struggle with.
Working with autistic kids this happens a lot. They are hard to work with and cause a huge amount of stress. Out of the blue they do something sweet or cute that draws you back in and it focuses you up. This happened yesterday while at work. The is one particular boy that gives us a lot of challenges throughout the day and he can really drain you mentally. I was at this point yesterday with him. It was during movie time where he found his way next to me. He looked at me for a few seconds and then snuggled tightly next to me and fell asleep. These are those moments that I am speaking of.
I told you this little story to tell you this, no matter how bad it may get with a child or a parent there are good times as well. It is easy to dwell on the bad and forget the good. It is hard but looking for the positive in those we are struggling with will be the best step you can take to repair a struggling relationship. At risk teens will surprise you when you least expect it if you are prepared to see it and kids your parents will surprise you too. Us old folks are pretty cool if you give us a chance.
Long story short, if we look for the good we will find it. Use this as a base in which to build upon. It’s the fear of being wrong that keeps us looking for a reason to be mad when it is the small moments that will cause true change.