Every child feels it and every parent does it. What is it and why does it happen? It’s the false expectation that our children will make the same positive decisions that we made when we were children. Parents can make it real hard for a child to live up to any expectation that they may have for them. As a result of this there is a separation created between parent and child. This is the foundation of a declining relationship. It’s a trap and most parents fall into it time and time again. We as parents have to accept that our kids are not us! They have their own likes and dislikes. They will love things we hate and hate the things we love. They have their own brains and develop who they are over time and through the environment they grow up in. How many times have you as a parent said to yourself or out loud ” I did it so can they”? This is based on what? The simple fact that you did it? We forget that it is a different time and different circumstances. Parents we have to stop with the false expectations that our kids will be smaller versions of us. How boring would that be if they were? So what is the answer?
We as parents have to know who our children are and accept who they are. This is easier said than done but through practice it can be mastered. Knowing what makes your child motivated and productive is the key for your success as a parent. If you as a parent have a grip on who your kid is it will help you to motivate and build relationships with your child(ren). This is what they become if we try to raise a child without knowing who they are.
My name is Bobby Howell. I am the father of 4 biological children and 3 stepchildren, 6 boys and 1 girl. I have spent 9 years working with at risk teens in the Juvenile Justice System. I currently work with children diagnosed with Autism. I am currently working on my Masters in Criminal Justice and have a passion to help parents and children that find themselves in a troubling relationship with each other. This blog is designed to provide an open forum for both children and parents to seek and share advise on ways to strengthen the bond between the parent and the child. I have no bias towards parents or children. I know and accept that we all make mistakes when it comes to being a parent or a child. I am extremely excited to share my knowledge and experiences with all those that take the time to care. We don’t get to choose how we expect our children or parents to be but we choose how our families will grow and evolve.